Dealing with WAW part 6

[pilot]

pilot -- I'm curious to know what your DB plan with your coach was, and why you would need to go back to LRT?

Basically my DB coach and I decided to make a more aggressive push than I had been prior. This meant being more openly flirty, and taking every positive and building on it with a bigger attempt at a positive.

However, since my W seems deep in a new fog, and is completely uninterested in any type of flirty behavior or even compliments, it seems prudent to back off and just let her be again. I will continue the PMA and all that jazz around her. However, I will not be asking her to any lunches or dinners, or family time events for a bit. I will just let her sort through whatever it is she is doing.

Thanks for the post Ahoy!

[pilot]

Pilot, from an outsider looking in you are doing well with your sitch. Better than most I follow. What was your wifes family life like growing up.
Not to throw God card or push it on you. Did they and do they still go to church.
Just something to think about. Not to win your wife back strategy, but check out a Methodist church in your area some Sunday. Take the boys! It might be a nice experience for you.
I have been a so so church member since kids were born. Wife was really the drive behind it. Anyway it certainly has been a big help for me in dealing with this mess.
I don't ever want you to think I am pushing this on you , just something that is helping me out

Thanks igit,

My W was actually really big into church when she was growing up. Even though she is not Baptist, she spent most of her time at a Baptist Church. She even worked for Christian Life camp for a few summers when she was in high school. I grew up going to church but then I sort of quit, and would only hit the major holidays. Now I miss those as well. During our last few months in our old town, W would take the kids to a Presbyterian church...but I suspect it was just a way of getting out of the house. I also suspected it was where OM went to church.


I am glad you think my sitch is better than most...although I certainly do not feel it is! :P

[igit]

Pilot, I saw your reply! Just a thought. You mentioned w took boys to church in old Town. Suspect because other m was there.
Pilot you and I may be more alike then you realize. Maybe think outside the box a little. Believe me when I say I know you will leave no stone unturned.
Maybe your w faith is still important to her. I know it's like an oxymoron.《How could she do what she did>
Maybe try a 180 and take the boys some Sunday when you have them.Pilot I know you want your family back.
Remember its about doing something that works. Maybe it won't change a thing. But if it really is something that is important to your wife, it may soften her up a little. Doing it for boys cause you know it's important to w.maybe bounce of DB coach.

[igit]

I know it hasn't worked for me and my sitch so far! But w is watching! And kids are watching! These A's are a messy thing to deal with. It definitely has been a big burden on my mind. I am sure it is on there mind as well. Hang tuff Pilot! Patience and Time. Try something new and see if it works. Keep up the good work

[pilot]

Went to kids soccer practice tonight. W was not social at all. We barely spoke. No hugs goodbye. Nothing at all really. Definitely on a downhill spiral in the past few weeks and not getting any better. I would seriously bet there was a new OM in the picture and the fog is really thick right now.

[igit]

Pilot, sorry to hear that! You know sometimes you just have to do what you think will save your sanity. I know that is where I am. If it bothers you to be around her when she acts like that. Heck just stay away for a while. I am know vet! I hate to see you struggling with this. Maybe you are putting in to much effort. Hang in there, it seems your w changes like the weather.

[Ahoy]

Thanks for clarifying, pilot! It's so hard to know which mode to be in (flirty and sending invitations, or LRT and NC), which is why I asked. I guess it's best to just base our actions off the vibe we're getting from WAS.

Honestly, I wouldn't know how to flirt with my H right now! I'm just trying to be friendly and validate when I see him, but I'm not initiating anything. Sometimes I wonder if there's something more I should be doing. Wish I had a crystal ball!

[pilot]

W sent me photos of the kids playing soccer last night early this morning. I replied 'cute'

Still no idea what is going on these days. Just facetime'd with the kids. Nothing said to W and she did not turn the camera on herself.

[LisaB]

Hey pilot, nothing to do but be patient eh?

I hate this sh!t. Can't we just wake up tomorrow and it is all solved for the best?

Do you think if you really dropped the rope and gave up that she would come around? Not that I think you should do that but what do you think?

Sometimes I think that is what it really takes, giving up completely. The danger of that is that if you really give up maybe it is too late for you.

Well, just rambling. Have a good day!
Hugs, Lisa

[pilot]

Hey Lisa. If you still have my email look me up on fb