New here, my fairytale gone wrong

[fthnluv]

Thank you all for your advice and kind words.

H came back home after dropping off kids at the bus stop this morning and we talked again. I apologized for telling our son that H was making the choice not to work in our state and not to move us to his state. I told him that I know that he loves our kids and that I don't want them to think he is choosing money over them. He thanked me and then told me that he was mad about it at first but that he "couldn't be mad at you after all I've laid at your footsteps over the last 4 days and the grace that you've given me. I forgive you.".

I'm trying hard not to focus on OW. God did grant me a wish today and H's flight back "home" to her was delayed which means that they will not be having sex on our anniversary after all. Woohoo for small victories! The images of them together, sexually, still haunt me and I dread how much longer they will be in my head (I know, much, much longer). I do not want her to have this power over me. I am very scared that she is, in fact, pregnant. He says she is not but we all know he lies through his teeth these days. That would be something that impacts our family (as well as how my kids feel, like he has time for that family but not ours) emotionally and financially for our lifetime. I am praying that she is not. I asked him to be safe (sexually) to stop both the possibility of pregnancy and STD's but I know he does not like to use condoms and I don't think he'd tell me the truth about that either. Ugh.

I will consult with an attorney about what to do next. I think we may just wait and see what he offers in writing and decide on whether or not to contest at that point. His business is a feast or famine type of business which means even if he offers me the moon he may not be able to pay me any of it in any given month. So, my fear is that I do not contest the truth of our relationship AND I still don't come out any better financially. I will have to pray about it when the time comes and things are in writing...

You have already dealt with so much, and you're impressing the socks off me with your calm. At least you write calm. . (Behind the scenes tantrums are also acceptable).

Thanks! LOL! I was very calm and quiet, which surprised even me (and apparently scared him). I give that all to the advice you all have given me here on this site and to God's grace (as H already figured out).