I feel like I'm pushing him away. Because I don't want him in my way while I figure this out. Kinda MLC of me, isn't it....
Earlier, I put being with him up there sooooo high, I would do whatever it took to see him.
Now, I feel like saying, "you don't get to see me right now."
Maybe I want to punish him. Or is it resentment?
Shining, I think it is growth. Personal growth.
Doesn't mean you don't want to be with him, but you are thinking with a different, more self-aware mind. You are looking at things from a different perspective and therefore you feel things differently. You are still processing. I think it's great. You are taking care of you. And in order for there to ever be a happy, healthy r, that needs to happen.
