This is terrifying - I hope you understand

[Shakspr]

So, labug.

I have thought about your post all day.

It would seem that you echo, from another angle, what most of the vets say.

So I will start by saying, to no one in particular, my W deserved a better version of me than the one she got. What I deserve is irrelevant, and something for me to deal with much later.

My actions created in her a long-term pain that I minimized and tried to sweep under the rug. I have indeed, improved too little, too late.

I am lost. I need to really listen, to my W when she chooses to talk to me, to those on this forum, to MWD through her book, and find what works. I need to do what works! And soon. My fear that it is too late shouldn't stop me from DR/DB'g to the best of my ability.

I really don't know what to do. But I will start with being "present" and quiet, without crowding. I don't know what I'm competing against, but I must do what I can to erase or contrast who I am today with the man who did all this damage. But I can be still, and listen.

And get out of the house frequently, plan some GAL other than the workouts. Because, in all likelihood, nothing I do is going to change that woman's mind about me.

I need to stop hoping for a breakthrough.