I am a DBer who has been off the grid for a couple years now! Crazy, but I was online, and thought I would just look and see who is online and if I might be able to help someone who was like me 4 years ago.
I read your story and I immediately felt a connection to you because I was in a similar situation...HS sweetheart, together forever, everyone said we had the best marriage, bomb drop was like a sledgehammer to the side of my head.
It took a full 2 years and 2 months before we got a divorce. The day of our divorce, he sat next to me in the court room, held my hand and comforted me as only he could. insane but reality. after the divorce, we walked out to the parking lot and hugged each other for a long time, both of us cried and he told me over and over how sorry he was and how he would always love me.
November of 2013 he married the OW in Jamaica. Both of our children were there.
I have started over with someone else. He loves me more than my ex ever did I think...but it still isn't the same and never will be. I am stronger than I ever was with my ex and very happy.
But I still have dreams about my ex and I still find myself remembering our lives together. It isn't painful like it used to be, so you can certainly count on that! but four years after the bomb dropped and I am still not completely healed. I know that with every passing day it gets easier.
I hate to see anyone go through what you are going through. It breaks my heart. I wish there was something I could tell you that would be the magic cure-all to your problems, but there isn't. You just have to go through it with as much love, forgiveness and dignity as you can. Most importantly, show your children that you can be loving and forgiving even at the worst of times. Trust me, they come back after a couple of years and will thank you for how you handled your situation. Whether you are able to make it work, or you get a divorce. Be nice, but stick your ground. I let my ex "bake his cake and eat it too" especially if he is living with the OW now. That is the hardest thing to comprehend. Just take it a day at a time.
I will check back and see if you are doing okay.
This site saved my life. period. use the tools they teach you. come here often to vent and look for help. it will change the way you look at relationships forever.
chin up and breathe!! (((((((hugs)))))))
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
