Do I walk away from WAW? (1)

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I feel like I am at a better place now than I was for the first few weeks. Of course, we had lots of conversations then, some of which I directed, others where she did most of the talking. In some of them, she seemed confused or overwhelmed by her decision, but ultimately she got more and more decisive. Its the things she said in these convos that have really stuck with me. We are better off as friends? She's not attracted to me? (this one hurt, I havent changed in appearance in any way from the day we met, really...so this must be an intangible attraction that has disappeared)

I fluctuate between believing all of the things she's said and seeing her mood and actions as just shutting down the possibility of rekindling these things, and then this other feeling that she's just taking some extreme "vacation" from her responsibilities as a wife and mother. She's slowly been detaching from those responsibilities, and this seems like a radical extension of that. She claims (and two other friends of hers who have approached me have also agreed) that the OM is not a major factor, and I want to believe that. I dont think she's falling for him, but using him for an escape. I wonder if one day the reality of how much this is going to change her life will hit her, and she will want to work. A lot of the advice I get from family and friends is that she is acting very selfish and escapist, and they question if she could ever sincerely atone and reverse what she's doing. I dont know. But I do know that I'm at a greater place of acceptance of life without her than I was six weeks ago.

The biggest block, right now, is her default response to this situation is just "if we split, life will go on". Her parents divorced when she was 10, and they handled it relatively well, it sounds like. Though I have been told that she took it really badly for several years, she now acts as if it was the best for her and her sister and parents. There's this total denial that any of this will cause trauma. I come from a family that is still intact, so I have the exact opposite stance, and when we talk about R (which we havent now, for about 2 weeks, thank god), she just says we have irreconcilable differences about marriage. But she never told me any of these "differences" before now! Frustrating.