Walk away partner after 22 years . First post

[South74]

That's been the worse thing is how she keeps giving me hope .
Even when she left she said that she may realise what she has done and who knows what the future holds .
But she did tell me son she is never comming back .

I believe its what they call cake eating

[South74]

Right my W has always accused me of snoping spying following her around but what she doesnt realise is im a very lucky bloke, well not sure id call it lucky but things just seem to happen like below.

one of the things im aware is that she has discussed seeing the OM in secret behind me and the kids and her mums back then in a few months make out that they are then in a proper relationship and we will all then accept this .
this is because she is aware that the kids and her mum will have nothing to do with her if she is with OM after all the hurt she has caused.

but one of the things she said was that the OM was going to sell his van and get a new car so it will be easier for her to spend time with him and not get spotted.

well you will never belive what happend on sunday. this is so unreal, about 20 minutes after i dropped my WAW at her mums i took my daughter to go watch a footbal match and there is the OM sat at the traffic lights in his new car .
so that took all of 20 minutes to work out his new car lol.

and it would appear that the plan she discussed is what they are doing.

[South74]

W has had hardly any contact with kids in the last 4 days .
I just can't understand how she can do this to her own kids .

[South74]

not sure if the forum is up and running properly yet but here are a few things i posted but dissapeared.

one was about Fate met a guy in the pawn shop the other day who was in similar situation to myself , his wife had left him 3 weeks ago after 22 years he said it was out of the blue no warning no signs just bam she left. so he was selling his wedding ring as the final part of his chapter.

but its what he said about there being a higher being and all things are supposed to happen for good that stuck in my head.

another was about 180s one of which is trying to stop bitting my finger nails which is so hard with all that is going on .

hope this post doesnt vanish again

[edz]

Hi South

no idea if it will vanish, Ive been waiting to update as well. Hope you're doing ok. Been a bit of a mixed one for me but I'll update when then forum is back and firing on all cylinders..

[South74]

Hi Edz
Was at work today so first time for kids to spend day with there mum .
Was weird but they had a good time which is good .

Only issue is that W owes me august family allowance and is saying that she can't afford to give me it this month but can in instalments that's fine but don't rub mine and the kids noses in it by going clubbing last night and eating loads of fast food . Really feel like saying to her so what if you can't afford it I need that money for the kids .

Hope you had a good weekend and quality time with your son .

[edz]

Hi South

Yep get that, wasnt money in my case (we're topsy turvy on that one as she took S as well) but felt the same on contact. Dropped a bomb on me that Son had been upset following coming back to the apartment last week but she hadnt mentioned it until friday night, although she'd had time in the week to ask about me getting her an ipad, funny enough I've not done so apart from to say it'd cost about £250 depending on what apps (and therefore what generation) she wants to run!

Just updated my thread with this weekend, hopefully it wont vanish in a puff od database smoke

Take it easy

[South74]

We'll went to circuits last night and boy did that feel good .

It's been over a week since I've been NC it's hard as children are involved but they are with me and old enough to contact and arrange things with there mum on there own.

Got to think about how to drop her cat at her mums without contact with her but think I have a plan to do it on Saturday when she is at work.

Only contact has been one text about family allowance which I accepted that she couldn't pay it all back .

Been reading the book divorce busting and have read the 5 love languages .

Getting really into GAL and 180s

Need to get divorce busting book read at the moment .

And finding it hard to not want to do things that make it all final .
Main thing is W is happy to sign her share of the house over for nothing , doesn't want to make me or the kids loose the house but she doesn't want to do that at the moment . But I'm thinking that should I just get the wheels in motion or just wait and be patient patient patient ?

Got a day in the garden so should keep me busy and my mind from wandering on negative thoughts .

[South74]

Right I'm getting really angry . And sat with tears running down my face listening to my daughter singing .

My daughter is signed to a artist development contract which cost a lot of money each month me and the WAW pay half each but I realise that this will end in the very near future and it will break my daughters heart .
When I hear my daughter sing which she is currently doing at a studio all I keep thinking about is how much her heart is going to be broke when this ends .
I blame my WAW and the OM who has pursued my W and will find it very hard not to want to get revenge on him .
And to be honest all the people that know me are amazed that I haven't smashed him onto loads of little pieces already .
But all that stops me is my lovely kids but what I might do when my daughters heart is broken I'm not sure .

Give me strength to not do anything stupid

[Ahoy]

Breathe, South. It will be okay. There will be other opportunities for your D. It might push her in new directions. Also it might show your W the consequences of her actions. Maybe your D could get a scholarship or other support (kickstarter online fundraising). Her dream doesn't have to die.
Anger is only going to hurt you, so best to let that go if you can. Think of positive things you can do instead for you and your D.
I'm sorry your dealing with that.