Basically when I rehearse I only rehearse worse case scenario to help me control my behavior. If things go smoothly, then I'm prepared for that as well but I need to rehearse my response to his negativity, perceived attacks, sharp tongue and blaming.
Basically my rehearsal is more self talk of calming myself to respond appropriately. So I guess it's more of a pep talk to remind myself of my tools and to remind myself to use them when I feel like I can't breathe, my heart starts to pound, my tongue turns into a razor blade and my palms start to sweat. These are all signs to me that I'm getting worked up and about to strike and it's in this moment that I struggle most with stepping down and listening, empathizing, validating, etc.
Does that make sense, labug? It's not planning out the scenario for me, it's more rehearsing MY reaction when my body goes into fight or flight mode.
Yes, it makes sense. You're afraid of losing control of the conversation. I would work on just listening right now, the empathizing and validating can come later. Baby steps.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
