Benefit of the doubt was a huge complaint my H had about me. A question like "have you done X yet?" sounded to me like a major judgment and criticism, instead of him just simply trying to check things off our shared checklist.
So I am working on that.
Labug-- I get what you are saying. For me, it's not so much about the conversation needing to go a certain way, but more like me just thinking through some phrases or even facial expressions (I practice smiling since I tend to have a b!tchy resting face!), and gain in confidence that I can hold my end of a tough conversation without taking any bait or getting defensive.
