Hi ft,
The fact that he has been shopping for wedding rings with OW and that he is suddenly in such a big hurry for D aren't good signs. His "fear" of you is more an indication of his guilt than anything else. I also don't think that the fact there is OW was such a surprise to you. The fact that he won't give you her name or age means she is probably much younger. You handled yourself very well, better than most I'm sure.

Now, I know that in PA adultery is grounds for D. He has admitted that he is an adulterer. It also does him no favors in court in PA because it can be factored into how much alimony you get as well as even though PA is a "community property" state, if there is adultery, the other S can get a much better settlement and be awarded more than the standard 1/2 of everything. It looks to me that at this point your H is just wanting to run away with his OW into his new, "happier" life. He isn't thinking through all the legal angles of getting a D. Please don't let the fact that you are standing for your M and really believe that your M can be saved stop you from protecting yourself and your kids. I made that mistake and it really has cost me and my kids. Your H is only thinking of himself and couldn't really care less about what he is doing to you and probably the kids either. You can still stand and protect yourself in court.

I'm so sorry you had to find out about the OW. I know that must hurt so bad and NO ONE deserves to be treated like that. For someone who talks about "God's Grace" he surely isn't living a Godly life and hasn't for some time. Expect the lies to continue and there will be more things coming out in the future. Just think of how first there wasn't a OW, than there was but it wasn't "serious". Now it's progressed to they have been living together for 6 months, signed a lease together and are shopping for wedding rings.....all before he even let you know there was a problem! Just be ready for more hurtful things to come out in the near future.

Time for you to be ready to go to battle, ft. You may stand for your M but like I said you NEED to protect yourself and kids from a man who is no longer the one you M and may never again be anything close to that person again!