Labug-- I just figured it was such an important sentiment that we all needed to read it twice!
I've realized that I definitely trigger stuff for my H...and of course he triggers stuff for me.
Ss... I am not as good of a composed thinker on my feet, while my WAH was a successful debater back in HS. So, I've learned to rehearse possible interactions and responses (sometimes while walking home which I'm sure makes me look like a nut), sometimes by writing a draft. And I try to avoid on the spot in person conversations, OR, if I have to, to slow the pace of it down by very calmly saying, hmmm, let me think a minute. Or... "I'm not sure, I'll need to think that through and get back to you".
Taking things at face value has also helped, which is something you seem to need to work on, too. That way, a question like, "is it ok if I come to the party" can be answered simply instead of turning into a bigger discussion of something else entirely.
