G, I know you're right. He has told me, repeatedly, that he is giving me everything he has. I am always so frustrated when he says that, and I was going to complain some more about it here, but now that I've typed out the statement and am looking at it, perhaps I need to be more compassionate. If he is giving me everything he has, isn't that something, even if it's not enough for me right now? From his perspective, giving me everything he has probably seems huge. I can't believe I'd not thought of it that way before.
Of course, the other issue is trust, trust, trust. I don't know that I really believe him when he says that he is giving everything he has. I think that's where I get stuck. (I know, I know -- believe none of what he says and half of what he does . . . )
On a more positive note, I just remembered that he apologized again yesterday! I had to text him in the morning with a couple of question. It was a light, friendly text, but I could tell from his responses that he was frustrated. We ended up having to go back and forth on one of the issues, so I decided just to call him. H asked why I was calling and I said it was because I could tell he was frustrated and I thought it would be better to talk on the phone. H admitted that he was frustrated but said that he didn't really want to talk about it. I asked him if I had done anything unreasonable and he said no, that he was just frustrated by the interruption. I told him that I would let him be and we could talk it later. He said thank you and wished me a good day.
Later, at kid exchange, he pulled me aside and asked if I'd had an okay day. I said I had a great day and I hoped he did too. Then he said, "I'm sorry for this morning." I just said, "Thanks, I'm sorry too."
I have to remember this stuff when I'm feeling defeated.
