still waiting

[Ahoy]

I think it will be semi-affordable -- probably twice as much as before, but it's worth my financial independence, and if we do D, it will get factored into the equation. Luckily, with the new health laws, my preexisting condition won't factor into my application, so I should be okay.

You're right sjallda. It does send me down a rabbit hole of negative thinking. I mean, what chances are there that he will want to reconcile (January is our established month to decide) if he's already ditching me?

I guess I need to move on in my heart and just take care of myself.

What I really want is to move back to my home state to be with my family, but that would be back for D14, and turn everything into a legal mess.

I could consult with a L but I know they would just push me to file -- and I'm not ready.

Feeling trapped and alone and abandoned stinks. I really have to work on PMA -- for my own benefit.

Thanks for all the words of support!