My FIL sat me down for another conversation last night. He went over some details of his conversation with my W.
He noted to her that the OM has been dragging his feet with regard to divorcing his W. In the beginning, he wanted to file, and was pushing my W to tell me about the situation so they could move forward. He told her that he cannot proceed with divorce as long as she is married/committed to me. It took my W nearly two months from the start of the A to tell me.
The OM never came through on his end. He and his W are still married, and the controlled separation agreement they drew up was never signed. Now, news of the OMW's father's ailing health is preventing him from moving forward.
My FIL says that my W indicated that she is getting impatient. He told her that if [OM] is 100% committed to you, he would have divorced his W months ago. The fact that he still hasn't indicates that he is on the fence. My W seemed to agree. According to what my W told my FIL, the OM told my W, "If you want to break up with me, I will understand, and I will go without a fight."
A side note - The OMW told me that they spoke about breaking up (about 1 week ago), and this confirms it.
They have decided to give this two months to gather their thoughts and make a choice on what path they will eventually choose -- to move forward with the R, taking steps to dissolve their marriages; or to end the A.
He also said that my W has noted to him that I have changed in a positive way. He advised that whatever I'm doing, keep doing, and eventually she will believe that I have changed for good. Right now, she has doubt.
I need to re-read DR, re-read all of my previous threads. I need to keep my focus on the methods and approaches I have learned through the book, on this forum, and from my DB coach. I cannot afford another moment of relapse like I did last weekend.
I have another DB coaching session this afternoon. I can start to see the signs of things turning around and I am very hopeful. At the same time, I have to let go of expectations, and really start to engage in some new GAL activities.
M: 15 years BD: 6/25/14 EA/PA: starts 5/14/14 11/30/14 - A ends 5/15/15 - D is finalized. 11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
