This is terrifying - I hope you understand

[Ahoy]

Shakspr, thank you for your kind note on bashy's thread. I needed that. 25's note brought me down. I'm really trying my best, and even though I appreciate 25's guidance, I don't think he bothered to read my back story and learn about what I've been doing, aside from the holiday plans.

I'm sorry you're feeling down. Your W's back story with past relationships does raise some red flags. Better not to dwell on what may or may not be happening with other people. It won't benefit you to know if you're committed to trying to make the relationship work in the long run. Would it be nice to have honesty? Of course, but that's not something that will happen right now.

The grieving process is real, nevertheless. Just know that it will get easier in time. Sending positive vibes your way!