Wife having emotional affair part 2

[3kids]

I just have to say having a pre teen boy is fun. He is a little Casanova. Great athlete and the girls love him. Plus driving him every where is exhausting.

So a little about me. Both my parents grew up really really poor. My dad was the oldest of four. His dad died when he was 13. So my dad left home to find work and support the family. He was never really close to his family. My moms parents where immigrants from Germany. Great tales of how all five kids would get sent to aunts and uncles to live because her mom and dad could not feed everyone. Now understand I was a opps baby. My dad was 52 and my mom was 38 when they had me. I have a half sister from my dads first marriage that I've meet once and an older sister that's 11 years older than me. My family life was basically the loner life. I was basically an only child. My mom worked a full time job to support the family after my dad got seriously injured from the job. But he managed a little hobby farm to put food on the table. Growing up wasn't the greatest my parents where not always there for me. They did love me but could not be there for me. My mom worked in the cities, so she was never home(great job in the cities). My dad's way of life was do what I like or don't come along and I don't care. Kind loving people just didn't have all the time in the world. To this day I talk about the sports I was in high school and my mom goes you played that in high school. They where left to fend for them selves when they where young so they just assumed I would do the same. And I did, had a part time job from the age 8. My dad never had a dad so he probably didn't know how to have kids and my mom grew up with a abusive father, so they did there best. There fighting would be dad would get mad and leave or go out to the barn. While my mom would just shut down. My sister left the house I think a week after she graduated from high school. We where never really that close of a family. Still aren't, but we always have each other's back in the time of need.

I of coarse grew up a trouble kid looking for acknowledgment from my family. Got into drugs and alcohol. Spent most of my younger years in and out of jail. One night did to much partying and got into some big trouble and was looking at prison time. That was the first time my dad showed signs of caring. He bailed me out and I never did another drug in my life. Although I did still keep drinking. And I new I had a problem. Just couldn't stop. My family had all wrote me letters of concerns. Heck my sister even wrote me one letter to this day I remember word for word. Talking about my nephew and niece wanting to have an uncle for the rest of there life. But I was good, I was making great money and going to college full time(that I payed for). That was when I met my wife.

Now you said I saved her but that's far from the truth. She saved me! She showed me that life is worth living if you let people in. I swear by our second date I was in love with her. I put my self into AA when we met with out her knowing because I was ashamed of it but learnt I could control my drinking and it didn't control me(yes I do drink on occasion). I have had a few slip up through out the years but looking at my kids and wife has always brought me out of it. The last time was when I found out about OM. But not since then. And my sister drove two hours to be there for me. So we always got each other's back. Just like I had hers when she lost her nine month old baby boy to heart problems.

The hardest part of this all is that I know I wasn't the greatest husband at the end but I was pretty good before that. Just lost sight of things. The hard part is that she left me a month and a half after my dad died. I don't care who you are that's harsh. I can forgive a lot but I don't know if I'll ever forgive that.

So 25years and Sandi if that helps you out anymore on your advise. I do know reading all these books has really helped me understand a lot about myself and family. So that's a big positive! I know I'm not a jerk or a hero. I just lacked the right skills to be the best husband I could have been. Being a dad is easy just the opposite of what my dad did for me. Ha ha, no he just lacked those skills. I miss him and he would have had great advise on this whole situation. He lived through it once. Except his was to dis functional for me to even start.

25years I don't have a coach. I did one session and that's all I could afford at the time. So I do really and I mean really appreciate all yours and Sandi's advise. And everyone else's as well. Thank you so much!