OK, apparently in the DB website update my new thread got deleted.
Restarting it.... This statement resonates with me right now- I can be the lighthouse but I'm not jumping into the water to drag him back to shore. I'm standing and strong, but her has to make the journey himself to get to me.
High school sweethearts, married 20 years Since about 2010 knew " something wasn't right" with H. Became moody and very different personality. Started buying lots of motorized toys, having an EA with our friend/neighbor. In late 2012 told me he wasn't sure our marriage was going to work- said he was " deprioritized" and I wasn't meeting his needs. I do have a very demanding job and was building a new practice during all this so I tried to change as much as I could and work on things that I knew were issues ( including a somewhat SSM for years). Nothing I did seemed to be enough. Then in Sept 2013 he told me he was seeking out a divorce. I was shocked. Despite all our issues- I didn't expect him to do that. Found DB/DR 3 days later and realized this is MLC. He moved out Oct 1 and filed Oct 10. Hasn't done anything more with it but who knows. Moved back in Jan 17 because he was suicidal. Got on AD, going to IC but still not sure about relationship. Moved back out early May saying he just felt he needed to move forward with the divorce in order to get through everything. Hasn't moved forward on that yet, and I am just trying to drop the rope and Gal. We have a good friendship right now and are good coparents. I see baby steps, but recent events have opened my eyes this is going to be a very long journey and I'm not reading every positive as a sign he's coming back. Slowly getting myself off the roller coaster.
So as I said when I started this thread before- the last few sentences above are as true today as they were when I started my last thread. Every so often a big event happens to remind me this is a marathon......
And thanks to the 3 of you who commented before my thread disappeared- I'm glad you liked the title!
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
