Following and hollering at you? Following you to to and from Lawyers office and texting you? All because HE got some young thing knocked up? Wow, now that IS crazy! As for the fact that "..she is gone..", I really wish she was. The truth of the matter is she will never be totally gone. She will always be in my D's lives so therefore my life. Oh, how I wish she would just have run off and disappeared. Of course, I'm sure that many here feel the same.
The thing I'm most bothered by is that I keep having to fight for things that I shouldn't need to fight for. For the life of me, I just can't understand my W's need to take "things", now including my home (which she has said over and over she "hates" because it's "unhappy"). I actually can see something like what your H did. Taking things just because he was angry and wanted to hurt you. Stupid and juvenile, but I can see someone doing that. What my W is seemly doing is trying to take anything and everything of value that we ever had. At the same time she also wants to be the martyr who is having to pay for "everything". She told me that she has had to buy clothes for D14 because she "needs to have a set of clothes for when she stays with me". Now, she has plenty of clothes for school. The only reason she needs more is because my W decided to leave. Doesn't it make sense that if she wants her to have more just because she needs to live half the time with her simply because she wanted to leave me and destroy her family, that it stands to reason she should be paying for that? If she so hated living here why would she want to just recreate the same home only 30 miles away? Are MLCers so irrational that she actually believes that she is in the right? I hear you Wonka....you can't reason with crazy and I need to stop doing that. You are right. But I still get so frustrated at times. I'm trying so very hard to get on with my life, one without my W as my W. I'm stressed, I'm trying to make ends meet, make sure my D14 has a stable parent and make a better life for myself and my D's. Having to deal with w's crazy is just not helping.
I'm tired of having to be the one who has to be there for my D14 when she is with me and also when she is with her mother. I'm tired of having to take my time and energy and devote it to fighting for what any rational person would see as reasonable for me to get after so many years of working so hard, of taking care of someone who was "sick", of being the sole "bread winner" for most of our M, especially since I wasn't the one who ended the M. I just want this whole thing to be over and done with but I'm not going to just roll over and give her everything either.
I see my W looking like she hasn't slept, being way too thin and gaunt. Every time I have seen her even when she was out with her relatives early after she left and she was still inviting me to family events, I never see her smile. How is it she still thinks I'm the cause of her unhappiness? She sure doesn't look any happier than before she left! I don't want her to see this so she changes her mind about our M. I really believe that boat has sailed. I would just like for her to maybe see this so that we could maybe be able to actually co-parent our D's in a way that is healthy and where we could maybe work together for their good at least.
Yes, I deserve the 2x4's. Yes, this is stuff I've been through before but now I have to go see my lawyer and take time off work and out of my life. I have to answer her demands from her lawyer. I have to act nice, when I'm around her because my D14 is always there. I have to hold my tongue when my 14 year old D says how much she likes not having anyone around when she gets home from school until 8:00 at night. She may like it because she's a teenager but it isn't good for her. And at the same time I can't trust my W, even when she seems to be being reasonable. I know that this is just the facts of life for me now and i just need to get used to it. But man it sure can be a pain!
