What to do when an EA involved?

[Hoju]

Hey 24 thanks for dropping in again, I fear I miss lead you and chose my words poorly. I am not overbearing and never have been, I'm quite the opposite and always allowed W a very long leash. I believe the word I was looking for was pursuing or smothering. I am also not loud or a yeller and never have been, through this entire thing I have never even raised my voice. I've always been calm and supportive to her wishes, I did try and convince her to stay a few times and it's always set me back. As for dependability I would avoid going to things with her friends, I never discouraged her from going but I would often rather not. I'm not sure how to 180 that as I'm sure she wont be inviting me anywhere any time soon.

When she would get emotional I would often try and fix the problem or tell her not to worry everything would be fine or not to cry over things she couldn't fix, occasionally I would just ignore it and leave her to work it out herself. All I had to do was tell her it was ok to cry and just to let it out, as someone who doesn't cry and has always viewed it unfavourably I never understood why someone would want to cry.

I would like to work on a way to 180 my affection and dependability but I'm not sure how. She said we felt like roommates and not partners, that we didn't share any interests. She is right that we stopped doing many things together that we used to but we still did quite a bit with family/friends and spent pretty much every night we were both home watching tv or going for a walk together. I would have liked to do more with her as she truly is my best friend but as mentioned I was saving for our second round of ivf. I want to be dependable that when she wants me to go somewhere I will just say yes instead of arguing.

W has already said she is ok with selling, I'm the one who put the breaks on it for a bit as everything has moved too fast. As soon as I give the realtor the green light they will begin showing. I want to meet with her to see and talk to her and just let her know I'm ready to proceed (even though I'm not).

I don't know how to show someone I'm fully committed to them and spending my life trying to make them happy when they want nothing to do with me.