Wow, Card. It's like you're here for me today. Thank you! Mr. Dennett's 4 questions REALLY are a good basis for breaking down understanding, showing empathy and it's also a start of validation. Impressive. I'm going to put them into my journal and refer to them frequently.
Your time table also makes sense. So much of my reactivity just feels like it happens. Like it's more than just a habit that's hard to break. It feels uncontrollable but I know that's not true with conscious effort and awareness.
We were married 12 years at BD and I can easily see how AT LEAST 12 months of effort is necessary to show him that I'm serious about these changes but I also am fully aware that it will likely take longer. I've done serious damage.
I do love how the process of change requires you to defy just about everything you know as truth or learned through your childhood. You don't have to be defined by all that if you're diligent enough to make the change and make it stick.
