Happy birthday, Caliguy! Probably not the best birthday you've ever had, but you can make it a good one! Take a fun drive on the Hog!
Thank you Nitty ..... and yes .. yesterday I did have to stop myself from the self pitty party thinking this B day was worse than last year, but in a way its actually been better.... Keeping PMA and knowing I have made progress.
So ... Weekend Update (Play SNL Music)
Saturday morning I had to wake up early, I am the asst coach for S7's soccer team, and the Head Coach could not make the game ... so just me and those 8 little boys at 8:00 a.m., W actually showed up on time ... (180 for her ... is SHE DBing???!!! lol). Well I had an absolute blast, joking with the parents, the kids, the other teams kids, .... had everyone laughing, I just was really enjoying myself. W was there but honestly I didn't even notice. So after the game she asked if we could have breakfast, I agreed, we ate and she said it was the most amazing breakfast she has had in a long time ( The irony .... she ordered what I have ordered for years). I paid for breakfast and told her I had things to do, (Was just work) and I would see her later as we agreed on dinner later that night. I told her I was going to church ... she told me she went with S on Friday ... implying that we didn't have to go ... I held firm and said I was still going and would meet up with them afterwards. This was a GaL/180 thing I did long prior to even knowing what DB was and something I do for me.
So I finish church, and ask if she wants to meet at the restaurant or me come by, she invites me over, and she actually dressed up a bit, and had my son all done up. She invited me in and had S give me some gifts, first was a matching T shirt that he was wearing, then a necklace with a cross (Replacing one I had loaned her that she misplaced). Then a desk/art thing with a verse ""With God, all things are possible." .... now I did not want to mindread, nor do I know if S or W picked this out .... but it did make me pause for thought. I was happy she did get me these things and they were of religious nature. So we went to dinner, a place her and her friend went to after a jog, it was good .... after I took them home and told them thank you and good night, she invited me in saying there was a suprise. She actually baked me a cake, my fav .... very nice gesture, I was stuffed from dinner and declined ... we did swipe a bit of frosting each with a laugh as S ate his piece that he was not going to be denied. So that was a nice gesture on her part that I thanked her for. Next morning, another early one, I arrive at her place and help wake S, we drive up to see her brother, was a good trip all in all ... nothing really happened good/bad .. just an enjoyable day all things considered
So the weekend, a few things I mentally noted to write down as positives.
1. She actually baked me a cake ... wow 2. There was a nice hug ... where she steps on my feet, one of those cute things she does that melts me, and makes me feel like we connect (something I have been struggling with ... we both are guarded ... I have not pressed the issue .. just taking it as it comes) 3. Sunday during lunch, we were eating with her father, she looked at me and told me she really liked the greys that I have. (a compliment, in a strange way ... but still .. she is noticing me again) 4. Driving home, I got a little flirtacious elbow hit ... I'll take any forms of these. 5. After the weekend she thanked me for going even if I was not at 100% ... (there was a point Sunday she insisted on driving as I started in with a headache ... fell asleep on her moms couch for about an hour at one point) 6. There were a few 180's noticed by her, and after each one I could see her wheels cranking ... one was the patience I showed while she spent an hour at the verizon store ... this was always something that drove me nuts ... but I would stand patiently and when I found myself getting tense (by the 1000 questions she asks) I just walked around like I was browsing .. it worked perfectly! The other, I can not recall what it was but she was shocked and said "Really??!!!" and I confirmed whatever it was .. and she just said .. huh .. and sat in silence for some time.
So .. weekend went well, this week will be stressful for her, I have a full plate aswell ... but I will remain PMA, going to start running again this week, I just need to get through the next few weeks, her family issues, my audit, then I need to move ... I think after that I will press a bit and see where she is with the OM, if she will now agree to work on the M, or if I need to cut the cake eat if that's still going on ... seems the weekends she has been with me, I know M and Thurs she does IC and the Church support group (I think she is going to this .. not sure) ... but Last Tuesday my ears perked up .. felt like she was at a date, or out with someone .. .I have no idea .. nor did I allow myself to think the worst .. I just let it go.
Things are better, but I feel the urge to press, I am fighting that urge .... I know there is more work to be done and I need to not scare her off.
