NL, you are no doormat. You are choosing to work on something that is very difficult with an end goal in mind. And the worst outcome you'll have is a better you.

A doormat is just there.

What DB coach thinks about how W responds to your detachment effort? From what you write, it seems to get noticed and W appears to try and draw you back in.

me: 45 W:45
M 20 years
T 22 years
S14, S13, S11, D9
BD 2/28/14
D papers served 3/3/14
I moved out 3/15/14
MC start 4/2/14
I moved in 6/2/14
D suit withdrawn 6/30/14