I don't know you're entire story and I'm sure this post will get lost but for your text conversation with H. Do you think there was anything you could change? To me it came across like after you told him he didn't need to ask permission you guys kind of went on about it. If you're trying to be dark I would have left it with a... Sounds great, we already got a gift, we will see you there!
I struggled with being right and had a lot of conversations similar to yours. Too many words. Instead of pointing out he was invited (he knows that) I would have just said something short when he asked if he could go.
Again, I don't know your sitch and I'm not vet but just my .02
