I made a post that seems to have disappeared into the etherwebs but basically it was a post about understanding that I need to fix this marriage without talking about it. A true challenge but one I am up for. Then I think labug said there was a book out by that same titled, which I have no purchased.
There is still work to be done.
I also posted about a strange convo with H yesterday about attending a birthday party for a 6 year old boy we know. It went like this:
H: So if it's ok, I'd like to ask your permission to go to the birthday party tomorrow. Me: You're asking my permission? Why? You were invited, too. H: Well I just thought that since it's your weekend with D that... Me: Yeah but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to see her at all, right? You were invited to his party and if you want to go, great. If you aren't planning on going, great. We are going and I bought a gift. H: Ok, well, I didn't want to infringe on your weekend. Me: It's not infringing and I think it's weird to ask my permission for you to go somewhere you were invited to go. It's not like we don't get along or something like that. H: Yeah, I guess. So, if it's ok, I'm going to go to the party. Me: Great. H: Ok. thanks.
I feel like this behavior is completely out of the blue. It's like he's acting as if we haven't been laughing and having a great time out with friends for the last two months.
What is this about?
I'm feeling a little like this is a little bit of the story he's writing entitled, "the victimization of Ss' husband". I want to smack his face a la Cher in Moonstruck and say "Snap Out of it!".
So we went to the birthday party today and he's hanging out with D to help her with piano homework and to decorate the exterior of the house for Halloween (she so excited!). I'm assuming he'll stay for dinner but he'll probably be very weird about it... something along the lines of "if it's ok, I wouldn't want to put you out, if it's ok with you, maybe I should leave you two alone" craziness. I guess he's trying to be polite and respectful? right? It just feels like he has no self-respect in his effort to be polite and respectful. I don't know. It just feels weird.
Jeez, I hope this posts. I'm ready for this board to be done with maintenance already.
