Have I any hope.... (Part 3)

[Ahoy]

Hi bashy (and others) -- pressies is British for "presents". Bashy, the holidays are tricky. I don't want to spend those times pretending that life is normal, and I do want my H to see what life in the years to come will be like, with us splitting holidays. I also have family responsibilities pulling me back to my home state (far from where I currently reside). So I asked my H how he wanted to divide up the holidays this year (giving him authority, which is a 180 for me). He picked Thanksgiving, I get Xmas, he gets New Years. I'm traveling to my home state to visit family for Thanksgiving, and taking my D there for Xmas. I later told him that I don't mean to exclude him, that he's welcome to join in Xmas depending on where he is emotionally in Dec., but that I felt that I had to go ahead and make plans to be with my family (my father is having a cancer scare). So the door is open, but I'm also moving on with my life. I do want what is best for my D, but in some ways, dealing with the reality of the situation will be good for her. I don't want her to put any faith in an illusion. I can't guarantee her that this marriage will last.

HOWEVER, since she invited you, maybe it would be worth showing up. I try not to turn down invitations from my H these days, even if they result in me just listening to his narcissistic babbling about himself. It might give you clarity one way or another.