Inside my chrysalis 3

[Ahoy]

Wow -- labug, this is terrific advice! Being able to drop things (like reminders about dr's appts. and food choices) is something I also need to do, if I get the chance in the future with H. If not, I feel like I've definitely learned from this, and will be able to give my partner more space to handle his own choices and the consequences.

SS -- I did a lot of the same "rescuing" and "running the household." I think my H felt emasculated by it. He says he is happy to be living on his own now because he can do his own laundry and "be a big boy." (!)

I do wonder, however, if I would have treated a different person the same way. My H has ADD and is VERY forgetful, so things like appointments and bills would fall on my shoulders. Honestly, I think it would be a relief to be with someone about whom I wouldn't feel like I'd have to worry about those issues...

But if H does come back, I'm going to have to drop the reins and let him handle those things on his own, even if he handles them poorly by my standards.