It is confusing at times Shining, be gentle with yourself, you are really going through A LOT right now...grieving end of M, loss of house, kids leaving the "nest" in the future...
Please take a break from this stuff and do something good for yourself often throughout the day...sometimes getting away from it allows your sub-conscious to process it in the back ground.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
