Hey, Sam, I wanted to let you know, I know that gut punch of reading sexts between your husband and his affair partner. You are where I was last fall.
I'm sure Train will be along shortly, but I wanted to suggest to you... if you think he's sincere and your verify procedures are supporting what he's telling you, then you need to find a balance between satisfying your need to know and not beating him up with what he did.
This is a REALLY difficult balance and I did not find it. So I don't have a suggestion for you. MC probably would help if he's open to it, and I know some people suggest scheduling affair questions so both of you can be prepared and detached. With him working so far from home, that's going to be a huge challenge.
I don't think he can hang out with her and not have it become a problem. My two cents. Even if he insists he can, I don't think that's as true as he might like it to be. So keep monitoring. He's giving you a reason to do it by not answering all your questions, even the uncomfortable ones.
I hope you get better advice soon, but I wanted you to know you aren't alone. I hope things work out better for you than I managed during this weird time.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
