Easier said than done, but try not to focus on her feelings toward the OM. You have no control over that, and any attempts to try to control will likely backfire.
M: 15 years BD: 6/25/14 EA/PA: starts 5/14/14 11/30/14 - A ends 5/15/15 - D is finalized. 11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!