Peter: Glad to hear you agree with me, I was looking for some feedback on that. I don't think I will send a card though. Couldn't agree more that reconciliation would solve lots of these issues, but I want that to happen as a result of her wanting it and myself wanting it. Not for financial reasons etc. She does know where I stand. I think sending a card would be pursuing too much, as you noted. On a side note, I was reading your update, and seems to me you are very patient. Your still sticking it out. I think most of us here would agree. Keep your head up
Train: So glad someone else understands my frustration! Yes, taking the food is really all about the difficulty and time involved in getting it. Typically my W is very manipulative, she cries when she doesn't get what she wants, and is quick to jump to "you demean me and control me etc". Totally agree, it's a consequence of her actions. I do not need to protect her from those consequences. Where I was worried I may have erred was in making a big deal about something that is minimal overall. Big picture, would I rather have my kids eating food, yes. Big picture would I rather be in a great R with my wife, yes. That's where I was worried I was messing things up. I realize that I need to maintain and keep my boundaries, for me. If she goes on stress leave, so be it.
Twinmom: Thanks for the reminder. I wondered that myself. I need to stop being a rescuer. It's an old habit that likes to rear it's head, often. I agree with you, I was too nice. And my W is an expert victim player. Learned habit passed through generations, hopefully stilling with my kids.
