still holding on - 4

[u-turn]

just journaling today
A little interaction this morning

W is going to a work conference today but has decided not to spend the night - in the past that was her opportunity time with OM. She is going with a female co-worker and coming home late.

Before she left, she wanted to take a picture of her and I on her new work phone (selfie type thing) (that seems like another positive to me, she hasn't done anything like that in a long time and it surprised me.)

maybe my poor attempt at DBing is working or maybe she has figured out what will keep me floating.

I still don't know what to think of all of this turn around lately, but it sure seems to be a lot of effort for her to just be nice. It could be a disguise or a true effort, I don't know. I am wondering if I will ever really know. If the A has fizzled out, will I ever really know?

Still haven't seen the big 3 that I would consider something true. (statement of A being over and ready to work on us, ring, intimacy). Right now she just seems to have skipped all of that and went straight to working on us - while I work on me. I am a little lost as to what I should be doing at this point.

I feel like, if everything proceeds this way, we would have just swept everything under the rug. We have done this with past issues, I want to do this right - no more mistakes.