KGirl - 7 months later...

[KGirl]

You have good points, labug. I shouldn't be settling for the crumbs. The past couple of times we broke up and got back together I settled for those, and didn't follow through on boundaries, and that led to resentment later and re-living those incidents. For example, during college H had an instant message thing going on w/this girl from back home. He would message her about how he wished he could marry two people because he liked her so much, how maybe at Thanksgiving she could come over under the guise of hanging out with his sister and they could see how far they could get physically, etc. When I found the messages I said I needed him to no longer be in contact with her, and he fought back and said I was trying to control who he could be friends with, and that it didn't mean anything and nothing happened, etc. I gave in and didn't push it because I just wanted to be with him. IF anything changes this time I am not going to accept anything less than NC with his EA partner from work, no matter what he says about it. I know what he told me and it's very clear it wasn't harmless. It's time to break that pattern of him doing whatever he wants even when I say it's hurtful to me, and then me just going along with it because I don't want him to leave.