"How do I get past this?"

By starting to do it a little at a time. It's not an all or nothing skill. You have to practice at it.

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER