wife needs time to figure things out, need advice

[mandown]

Last night went well I think. When she got home, things continued as normal, casual convo, making jokes, and just general "roomate'ish circumstances. She went to work out with her best friend at the gym, and came home around pm. I was already asleep and when she layed in bed I woke up. I after about 5 mins or so, i rolled over and started to hug her and say goodnight. She came out of the covers and moved closer to me to give me a very intamte hug and we layed ther for a while. I then kissed her and said good nigth and i love you. She reciprocated just the same.

I am having a hard time with the whole detaching thing. I feel as if I were to show her no emotion, then she would take it as a sign of I am reverting back to my old ways and scare her off even more. I am struggling to find a balance between the two.

Another thing that bothers me is that I know she still uses the Kik app from time to time. I look at her gmail account and see the app in her list. I remove it, then it comes up again like she redownloaded it. I know I sholdnt be spying on her, but it is now a habbit I need to break. I never used to be that way until all this happened. I have been letting my fear and emotions control me. I am learning, slowly.

The last we talked, she did say that seeing other people, or getting emotionally involved with anyone is the last thing she's thinking about right now. Which does help put my mind at ease. I try to look at the silver lining, every time I confront her about anything, she has been brutally honest with me. She hasn't lied about anything. I try to view that as a good thing. I am choosing to believe her, but who knows how long I can last.

I am reading DR, and waiting on DB,5LL, and Hope for the separated to come in as well. I am firing on all cylinders to get this marriage turned around.

When she shows me the affection, I can't help but think that she is showing signs of maybe she is changing her mind about the separation, but I in no way ask or hint at that.