Ambivalent, I'm sorry you are having a difficult time right now w/ what is going on w/JTM. I would let him go in a loving manner for now. He really does need to take some time and figure things out for himself.
Right now, there are three in the relationship and someone needs to step away, whether it's his wife or you, but someone will need to do so. It sounds like he still loves her very deeply and if he doesn't want to divorce her any time soon, then you have your answer.
Step away, give him the time and space to figure things out. No one knows what he may end up doing, but you don't want someone who is always going to be running to help the ex. You are worthy of a far more mature and loving relationship and you should not be the second fiddle to anyone.
Again, I'm sorry this is happening, but it's best to get this out in the open now and not another year down the road.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
