Barrybran - [Insert Original Thread Title Here]

[Barrybran]

For some reason I have writer's block while trying to write about my feelings to my wife and I'm even struggling to write things down here. I'm feeling pretty annoyed with my wife at the moment over a sandwich. A bloody sandwich. My daughter asked my wife for a sandwich this afternoon and my wife sent her to me to get it. I feel that that was highly inappropriate because I was trying to study in another room while my kids were watching TV with my wife. Just writing this sounds stupid but I can't help but feel that it was juvenile behaviour by my wife. I did tell her in person that I felt it was inappropriate and she told me to piss off. She's been in a bad mood since I got home from work but I know enough now that that's no reason to be rude and disrespectful.

So yeah, I know I need to bring it up but I know it has to be in writing and I have no idea how I'm going to handle this constructively right now. I guess it bothers me more because my wife has been focused more on herself lately and it's resulted in her going back to ignoring the kids and I, not pulling her weight with the housework (she cooks and packs/unpacks the dishwasher; everything else is on a whim and I do ALL the kids' laundry - we each do our own, and spends most of her time playing games on her phone or watching TV. On one hand I understand why this is happening as she has been unemployed for a few weeks now and I feel that she has lost motivation, especially as she has been ignored for some good jobs a she's applied for and there isn't much else out there. I went through this a couple of times, most recently at the beginning of this year. I applied for job after job and it killed my motivation to do anything. When I found work I was a new person; I function so much better when I have a job (confidence and self-worth) and my wife is the same. On the other hand, I can deal with being ignored, I'm a big boy, but it does nothing for our relationship and it frustrates me hearing and seeing the kids clamour for my wife's attention only to be ignored. I just want to shake her and tell her to wake up, if only to prevent her relationship with the kids being strained like her relationship with her mother because she doesn't have time with them.

So many thoughts running through my head and no idea how to tackle it. In writing this I feel it may have more to do with a lack of motivation on her part more than being lazy. I don't believe she will talk to me but I guess I could put a feeler out there by telling her that I've noticed a couple of things and letting her know that I'm available to her if she wants to talk. All I know is that her behaviour is unacceptable, whether we have a marriage or not.

Ok, rant over. Time to collect myself and go home. Feel free to shoot me some advice. I hope you're all doing well in DB-Land.