Dealing with ongoing affair -which may now be over

[PeterV2]

We had a long difficult talk tonight. She hasn't read the apology letters again. She thinks they are disingenuous - that I'm just saying what I think she wants to hear. Back to that incident with my ex 10 years ago, she just won't let it go. She says all her friends agree with her.
I asked her about my request for forgiveness and she says she's not at a place yet where she can grant that request.
So what do I do? I guess just keep on DBing. Be patient and supportive. And stop friggin asking for forgiveness. When she's ready she'll say it.
Yeah, too much stress from the RH. More flooding last week. The live-in quit. W is not handling the stress well. I tried to talk about personal goal setting but she just thinks I'm full of BS. She has no patience whatsoever and I need to have the patience of Job. Just doesn't seem fair.