This is terrifying - I hope you understand

[Shakspr]

Well, folks, I done gone and messed this up completely.

What started as a peaceful conversation about being on edge around the kids, and too harsh with them (both of us), ended up a full-blown airing of grievances. Not really loud, but definitely accusatory and non-productive. I did try to focus on solutions, but couldn't help myself in the heat of the moment. I feel like a failure and a fraud.

Low points of the argument:

W: How many books have you read in your lifetime?
M: 1500+
W: How many about marriage and relationship?
M: Two more now than before you said you were divorcing me.
W: See
M: Straw man argument. I shouldn't need a book to tell me how to relate with my wife.
W: Right, and if I'm so hard to relate to, why would you even want to be with me.
M: Why do your complaints seem okay for you to just blast me with, but any time I say something, you view it as an attack
W: That's not true.
M: Do you find yourself in the middle of a lot of conflict?
W: Are you implying that I do this to myself...
M: I just wonder if you ever bothered, you know, not blaming someone else for all your troubles

When all was said (and done!), I cried my eyes out. After pulling it together, I asked her to come sit with me for a bit. I said I know I'm a mess, but it is her I have gone to for years in times of trouble. She agreed, reluctantly, and that part wasn't horrible, but still. I looked a blubbering mess.

And so forth. I will keep DB'g, but it is obviously just for me now. Detachment should be easy - she despises me.