You lack introspection, Bob. You seem to accept your behavior as absolute and seem to believe everyone else should also. I do not accept your conduct as absolute.
I’m not sure if you are extremely troubled or self-centered. But I am certain you are extremely immature.
You don’t understand your role in the M and appear to want someone to discipline your W for misbehaving. This would account for multiple failed attempts at MC. You liked it when the one MC identified her with borderline personality but became agitated when the MC recanted and apologized for the misdiagnosis.
You refused to accept your W was not mentally ill. This is odd behavior. Most people would be relieved to learn their loved one had been misdiagnosed with a personality disorder. Who wants someone they love to have a personality disorder? Wouldn’t you prefer someone you love to..just… be…angry?
Is the emotion of anger so terrible that you prefer a personality disorder over it? If so, what does this say about you? Keep in mind…anger can always be resolved. I must go back to your childhood. Your behavior indicates an extremely dysfunctional upbringing. Even couples with terrible dynamics don’t wish personality disorders on each other.
You have done things to make your W justifiably angry. You do not seem to understand this. You have said her issue is abandonment. You also say she has deep religious convictions against D.
In June 2013 you abandoned your M in an extremely cold and cruel manner. You emptied your arsenal on your W in a very short period of time.
You filed for D. You garnered support of friends and family behind her back. When you moved home you weren’t loving to her. Instead you forced her to sign a document agreeing to give you a D if she didn’t behave. You refused to make love to her. You refused to discuss the relationship with her. You refused to commit to the M.
I think her anger is completely normal under the circumstances. You engaged in very cruel behavior toward her. I would have been surprised if she wasn’t outraged by your behavior.
