WH, Geesh! I have always followed your sitch. I took a week off recently, and it seems like I've missed A LOT with you. I'm so sorry you are feeling so distraught.
What is weird is that our sitches are different but the same. Our xh's are totally engaged in a different r, to like, the point of no return. It STINKS! It HURTS! Your emotions are so similar to mine, it's crazy, but know... I GET IT!! Don't question them, I think it's totally normal for an abnormal situation.
I feel like, wait.... They are carrying on with this like it is so OK, and fine. It seems like others are going along... Am I missing something or crazy because IT'S NOT RIGHT! I totally feel ya. I question myself because they are acting like it's awesome. Well, they aren't.
Try so hard to detach from this. I know it is so easy for me to say and so difficult for me to do. Just remind yourself, they are living in such a whirlwind of crazy and you don't want anything to do with it. Wherever they land- it's not your deal. Remove, remove, remove yourself from it.
I know how it is to deal with your kids and the sitch. I am not sure how old your kids are, but I know it puts you in a tough position.
I'm sorry WH. I know it hurts. I know it makes you question so many things, feel things you've never felt, question things you never thought you would. It is tough, but so are you. You don't want part of that crazy. Step away and let him take control. He will see.
You know he won't be "truly" happy. That quick, c'mon. You can't count on someone else to make you happy. And you can't find happiness until you've dealt with the demons inside. Has he? I think not. He may feel excitement. That is totally different than happiness and love. Excitement is overrated and wears of quickly.
Don't sweat it. Keep perspective. Know you are better than this. You don't want this kind of crazy. You are good. You can do this. Focus on you, WH.
