Shocked and freaked out

[GoatGal]

Seattle,

It takes a big man to say what you just did here ^^^^.

That humility is a HUGE thing to be able to express.

Just my two cents, your idea of connecting with your W on an emotional level is on the right track.

We ladies usually like to feel emotionally close as a precursor to ML.
THAT's how you win back her heart. Put the sex on the back burner in all aspects right now.

Now of course in your sitch, you can't pursue.

BUT.
You CAN really work the heck out of validating her, listening to her, drawing her out a bit.
Not about your R or things she might be doing...but to show her you care.
You can bet OM is acting extremely interested in her... that's very compelling when she's felt alienated and under-appreciated.


"Tell me more..."

"I didn't realize you felt that way. I see now where I made some real mistakes..."

Men usually don't talk this way. But you can.

Show some of that humility and vulnerability, mixed with a good, strong, confident man who is making changes to be a better partner.

Be the man who "gets it."

Oh yeah.
Also be the cool guy.
Because you're too busy living your life to be sitting home crying into your beer.
Or distilled water.
Dress cool, smell great... Totally DBing!

In your case, I wouldn't go really dark and definitely wouldn't want you to come off as cold. But GALing, yes. PMA, definitely.
I'd be there for her a bit for support--but NOT about OM or fixing things for her.

Strong boundaries with OM talk, whatever you feel is appropriate with her behavior around YOU.

That would be hard to resist, in my opinion.

I think you're off to a good start.

---GGG