Saw your comments in Jay's thread and saw that you faced with similar sitch as your wife is involved with OW. (Dub...please note that this is not OM, but OW).
Whew. Not easy. Treat it as any affair here regardless of gender.
Detachment means treating your spouse like a friendly neighbor. You are not sucked in by their moods. I know, I know. Easier said than done.
-Do not kiss her. -Do not try to touch her. -Do not say "ILY" to her. -Do not hug her.
If she initiates, then you can respond accordingly. Don't be clingy, mushy, or pursuing-mode. All of that needs to stop now. Step back and engage in GAL activities for your own good.
Take the kids out and do fun stuff with them.
I'll keep an eye out for you here...you're encouraged to post in other threads that resonates with you to drive traffic back to your thread. You do make great cyber friends here.
Sorry that you're in this circumstance, but you will not find a better support system elsewhere than such awesome group of people right here!
