She is going to come over tomorrow night and bring dinner. I am hoping to keep things cool. Following this general plan: -Be confident, sexy -Acting outcome independent -Validate her feelings -Listen to her -Look her in the eyes -Connect with her emotionally by agreeing with her -Do not criticize -Be interested in her -Do not get sad or bring up the relationship
Also, @card29: Agree will try and make the porn thing a 180 for me. I have been looking deeply inside myself recently and discovered areas that I need to work on. Specifically: I can be anxious, i dont listen/try to get my way, and I dont focus enough on her to allow us to build an emotional bond. I havent been opening my heart up to her. Now I worry that it is too late and she is gone. She used to look at me with this doe-eyed amazement and was always excited to see me and be with me. Now she thinks of me like her brother.
She rarely wanted to hold hands with me. We failed at building and maintaining intimacy over time. I stopped trying to be sexy for her. I took her for granted. I criticized her. She never told me how she was feeling. I felt disconnected at various points and questioned whether i made the right decision to marry her - and mostly it was about sex. We lived as roommates for a while when we were both busy.
I focused on us having a good time. Not building and maintaining intimacy. Sex was always about what she was wearing. It wasnt about her and me. I was selfish. I didnt connect with her physically enough when there were so many opportunities to. I took her love for me for granted. The porn removed me emotionally even more.
