This is terrifying - I hope you understand

[u-turn]

I know about being in neutral - I tend to want to do something destructive (and would highly advise against that).

More Metallica & More cowbell. I do try to keep a sense of humor too. Sometimes it helps to lighten things up. It may be fake, but it helps for a while.

I really know about every part of our lives being affected too.

I am still telling myself to recover - refocus on work - pick up the pieces and do what's important for myself and kids right now. But I keep falling into the same rut and the people that I let down at work pile onto my worry list. Which subtracts from my PMA, which makes me seem less like a man she would be crazy to leave. and that cycle continues.

I know to stop that snowball, force the PMA, force the productivity - but it is almost overwhelming.