In what areas of your life do you feel this way ??
With love, parenting, friendship, jousting ???
Define WHEN those feelings encompass you, and think about WHY you feel that way, when they happen....
I don't feel this way as a parent. And, I'm a champion level jouster, soooo....lol....
I feel it in my love life FOR SURE. And I'm seeing it now around men, in general. I get intimidated and shrink. I noticed it at my last job. It was strange. I hadn't worked with all men like that before. I've never been so mousy a day in my life....then, there I was.
I'm starting to feel it more around female friends, too. Disconnected, I don't fit in...exactly what GB said. I feel myself acting as though I'm "not one of them", and I pull back. I wonder if it comes off that I don't want to connect....I can't quite explain it yet.
I was noticing at a parent meeting at school last night, I sat alone in the back. Watched all the other parents, single and coupled. It was like I walked into the room, and even though I arrived at the same time as them, they were "together", or "all in on the joke" ... I'm probably not coming across well in writing..... Just out of the loop, really. That's not who I used to be when I was younger at all.
The Why? With love, I can't receive it, because I don't believe it's deserved. And I keep trying to "earn" it by doing things and trying to be perfect. Men in general, I am intimidated, and afraid of being judged as stupid, or (ok this won't make sense...) I'm afraid of being "hit on". Idk Friends, I'm afraid if I put myself out there, I'll be rejected. That they'll look at me funny. That I won't have anything of value to contribute to a conversation, so I don't.
That's some of it.....
T, I'm on number 7. Stuck. Can I count my toes separately??
