Need to figure out how to move forward (thread #4)

[shodan]

I need to vent a bit. I spoke with my MIL earlier. I had not spoken with her in a while and wanted to connect. I did not call her to talk about my situation but rather about life in general. As I was about to hang up, she asked how everything was going. I decided to be somewhat honest, told her that I was giving my W space and that she is on her own journey and needs to decide what she wants. In the mean time, I am moving forwarding in my own life. My MIL told me that she asked my W if there was an OM and my W said no. I told my MIL that I know that there is/was an OM but it really does not matter. It is about two adults in a M who need to figure out what they want. If my W wants to commit to the M, she has to let me know.

What angered me was my MIL started talking about how there were signs earlier in our M that my W was not happy and that there were things that I did that my W never commented about but in retrospect she was lying and that my actions did anger/upset her. What irked me about this comment was that my MIL implied that this whole thing is my fault and that all of the issues were on my W's side. Looking back, there were many things that my W did to push me away. There are plenty of things that she needs to do to mend our M/R (exclusive of the A issues).

It is funny/ironic that my W tells my MIL that she was unhappy for years, hence why she asked for the D. And meanwhile, I am devastated and am working to change me and the M. But since I want to work on the M and my W asked for the D, the implication is I was the source of all issues.