MLC-WAW- Long Road Ahead- Help!

[TSquared2]

Then a thought jumped into my head ..... can you forgive someone for something like that when they don't even show remorse??

Forgiveness has nothing to do with what the offender thinks or feels. It's for YOU, not them. Forgiveness relieves YOU from carrying their burden...do you want to carry those negative feelings the rest of your life?

Negative feelings such as anger, bitterness, etc, are a HUGE, heavy anchor, they drag you down into the water, sucking life from you, for free.

You want to give your W that kind of power over you, and your life? Why?

I have been questioning as of late ... Do I want this? can we be better and move on or will this always be an issue? Can I really let it go ?... especially with the hurtful things she said during the psycho phase... I am the one who needs to come to terms with these things, and as bad as it is ... there is that part of me that wants her to hurt a bit .. I know its wrong ... and maybe its just a bout of anger/frustration where she gets to do as she wants and its everyone else around her who pays for her selfishness.

Now you are getting to the beginning of the work that you need to do.

My stbxw doesn't remember the bulk of the spew and venom she said to me, and some to the kids. She has started to remeber some, last I knew, but you know? It doesn't matter.

You can choose to take the spewing from a mentally unbalanced person personally, if you want, but why?

This far down my road I see it for what it was, it doesn't hurt anymore. I re-framed it into my experience interning in a pysch ward... I didn't let the patients crazy talk and spew affect me because? (psst...they were mentally/emotionally unbalanced)

There are a lot of personal "why's" we LBS have to dig into and answer ourselves honestly, that have NOTHING to do with the WAS. It's tough, but all so, so worth it.

Hope you are feeling better soon and hang in there!