Newbie Error- LRT too Soon- help!

[Bart42]

All, really appreciate your willingness to help and your advices. I realize I need to man up- I see how W can have no respect for a man who tolerates this behavior.

So how do I convey strength and start down the D path without speeding into a D I'd like to avoid?

Ask her to work with me on terms for a D (with a mediator) so that the impact on our children and finances are minimized? Simply lawyer up?

Something like "I told you I would not work on this marriage while your A continued and asked for a separation. You asked for some additional time to work out your thoughts and you have used that time to further disrespect me and this M. A divorce is not my choice, but I will not tolerate being treated in this way. Let me know by Thursday if you are willing to meet with a mediator to work out terms for our divorce. If I do not hear from you I will be retaining an attorney. I will discuss terms of our divorce or issues concerning our children, but otherwise I have nothing to say to you." Then I go dark. Is this it? Could I talk about separation rather than divorce and maintain credibility? This is just so hard when D isn't my goal.