Depressed WAW, digging in, learning about myself

[Ahoy]

Card -- do not have these kinds of conversations with your W! It's better for you not to know. If she drops a hint about some guy, don't take the bait. (I understand how this particular situation might have been confusing since the guy is a counselor.) Address only questions from her relative to coparenting. Time for LRT and GAL big time! Detach, detach, detach. You are in love with the idea of who your wife used to be, not the person who is currently dragging you through emotional chaos. Don't get confused!