Depressed WAW, digging in, learning about myself

[Card29]

I was debating whether or not to tell her that I would rather not hear about other guys unless she simultaneously tells me that she has no interest and shot him down as soon as she could. yesterday she never actually told me she wasn't interested. My mind is now assuming she is scoping him out on facebook, if they're not already friends there now, and has him in the back of her mind as a fall-back plan. I have a million thoughts like that that I'd rather never have again, because it will take days for me to dig out of this.

I was proud of one text I sent her last night. In June I called a suspected OM and told him to lay off on the amount of texting. I made a joke last night about calling this guy, and she didn't laugh. She just said, "Leave it alone". I said, "Of course." She said, "Yeah right. That's not exactly a given..." To that, I said:

It's a little different now. Still sick to think of that (her with another man), but I can't and don't want to control you.